First notes from Apocalypse...

... and a characteristically eagle-eyed and well-thought group they are, too.

Per reader JoAnn Redway:

Page numbers refer to Word file as of 12/15/07

p. 28, line 16.  Odd formatting at end of line (after "give") causes line break if text is reflowed.  No problem except for conversion to other formats.

p. 85, line 3.  Shaa should be "slathered" with ointment, not "slavered".

p. 105, line 2.  may be supposed to read "preemptive" instead of "preemptory"; the latter seems to occur mainly in legal terminology or as a misspelling of "peremptory".

p. 190 line 19  "Flaunting" should be "flouting", I think.  Depends on whether Lemon wishes to accuse the Shaas of gratuitously showing off their knowledge, or of ignoring reality.

p. 128, line 5.  Verbs have tenses, pronouns and nouns have cases. Note from Mayer: see the text for a solution to this one...

p. 170 line 2.  Punctuation nitpick, "convincing those around him - by the evidence - fairly successfully that he did know what he was doing" should probably be "convincing those around him - by the evidence, fairly successfully - that he did know what he was doing".

p. 172 line 19.  Question re:

'The naturally greenish pallor of Wroclaw’s skin was serving him in good stead at the moment, saving him the trouble of turning the same color from conscious volition. “I’ve never enjoyed flying,” he added, “as you know.”'

I didn't think that turning green from airsickness normally involved conscious volition.  However, I'm willing to entertain the notion that Wroclaw's physiology may be different.

Note from Mayer: Actually, I did intend to imply that Wroclaw's physiology is a bit outre. It never made it explicitly into the text, but I always thought he had some chameleon tendencies. This reference is all that remains of that unexploited element...

p. 220, line 10-13.  Query re:

"On the other hand, if the backlash from the severing of Arznaak’s transmission link with the Corpus had been harsh enough he could be unconscious somewhere in the gloop, too, breathing the stuff with terminal intent into his lungs."

Arznaak didn't seem depressed, and anyway, he's being presumed unconscious.  And this particular goo isn't sentient, so I'm not sure who is doing the intending here.

Note from Mayer: this is clearly a little too convoluted for its own good. I'v changed "intent" to "implications" and tinkered with the punctuation; I hope this solves things here.

© 2007-2014 by Mayer Brenner             

Some Rights Reserved